can i vent for a second?

Enter through the narrow gate…for the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it. - Matthew 7:13-14

i think sometimes i'm so nervous about sounding like one of "those Christians" that i rebuke the fact that scripture holds truth in my life and i need to talk about it.

at church last sunday, dahlstrom talked about the easier road being tough and vice versa. who hasn't heard that a million times? however, he set up a picture that made sense to me. he and his son were skiing one day. their mountain was high and the route was intimidating. his son took the scarier (harder) route and skiied straight down whereas richard took the less intimidating (easier) way and skiied back and forth. this broke the route down and made it less intimidating. when richard finally met his son at the bottom of the mountain, he was exhausted. he did so much more work for the same distance. isn't that life?

the two issues that cause me stress: moving and boys (when is that not the case?)

i want to move to denver. sometimes i feel like i NEED to move to denver. it's so scary though. my support system isn't what it is here, i dont have a job, i dont have roommate security, etc. and then i look at seattle. i understand it. i get the people. i have a support system and i was possibly offered a job opportunity that would be 1. right up my alley and 2. easy(ier than starting from scratch).

and then theres the boy sitch. on one hand, simply single. i deal with the fact that my friends have boyfriends and i dont and i rock it out anyways. but then, what about the easy option of a sketch guy who makes me feel attractive and desired? who deep in my heart i know will never be able to treat me the way i know i deserve.

the boy situation? easy. its a matter of dealing with it.

however, moving? i know it seems like an easy answer but it's hard to know whats right! do i turn down a job (that could offer a lot of possibilities) just because of my stubbornness to move? why can't my heart 100% accept denver and resist the temptation to choose something cozier?

damn you, life.

update!

do you ever re-read over something you once thought was hilarious and realize that 1. you're not as funny as you thought, 2. it's miraculous that you have friends?

thats how i feel about re-reading most of my blog.

as huge and scary things are happening around the world, i'm writing about grocery stores and "what your poop says about you." embarrassing. in hopes of becoming a person with a littttttle more depth, i'm going to make bbc.com my homepage and make it a priority once a day. i realize this is a small little step in the right direction but at least it's in the right direction. keep me accountable, little bloggers.

other updates? i gave up nachos for lent. i know it sounds silly but i fell into this horrible routine of coming home from work at 9:45, throwing some cheese and beans onto a plate w/ chips and zoning out to jersey shore. this is not the college graduate i want to be. soooo in reaction to that, i am being more mindful of what i'm eating at late hours of the evening (which usually means jalapenos w/ cheese on an english muffin...hey, its not EXACTLY nachos).

also, raja ampat is in my near future. look it up and hate me.

what does your supermarket say about you?

have you noticed how snobby people (cough, queen anne) are about their grocery stores? roommate told me a story about how she babysat two girls who lived on QA. she decided to surprise them and bring them a treat from safeway. girl#1 said "uh where is this from?" roommate: "oh, i think i got it from safeway." girl#1 "uhh, my mom shops at whole foods." girl#2 "thats funny because my mom only shops at pcc."

i dont know if you're familiar with pcc, but they charge $2 for an apple. i first thought it was funny but then i realized how telling these little 6yr olds' proclamations were. i've decided to compile a list of the various grocery stores and what (i believe) that supermarket choice says about the shopper.

1. safeway: the economical shopper. SW is generous about their sale bins and "member" specials. this is typically including (but not limited t0) college students, families with many teenage boys (i.e.: my family), holiday customers (think bulk over quality) and BIG shopping sprees on a tight budget.

2. trader joes: the creative shopper. TJ is known for it's creative prepared food and cheap wine ($2 chuck? get OUT). shoppers include: newly married couples who want to cook together, twenty-somethings who want to impress a date with "their" prepared creation, hipsters, business-people on lunch breaks and me with 6 bottles of charles shaw (guess what my preferred grocery store is).

3. pcc: the dot com families. PCC is the most expensive of these listed and has the fewest preservatives of any grocery store. frequenters include: "hippies" (see: people who pay to be hippies), moms who have things like THIS, rich people, stupid people who are confused by pcc's loose term of "grocery store" and mistakingly think they can buy thanksgiving rolls for under $8 (and yes, this did just happen to me).

4. whole foods: the preservative-conscious money bags. WF is known for their lack of discounts, independent brands and lack of preservatives. shoppers include: folks who wouldn't want anyone to see them pay discount on hummus, people who prefer to scoop their own granola, anti-preservative nazis and nannies (ALWAYS see nannies pushing 3 kids in a cart with a long shopping list).

5. thrift-way: TW is safeway but worse. i really can't even begin to describe TW because i am too offended by it. they appear to be a care-free, pro- "the little people" company but their prices rival whole foods. no thanks.

6. 7-11: convenience. perfect for people who: 1. don't have time to do a proper grocery shop, 2. can live off of hot dogs, enjoy small talk with an angry, overworked cashier.

which do you fall into?

shame on stephenie meyer. SHAME.

in order to keep the nerd inside of me happy, i am always scouting new books. yesterday, i bought a good half dozen on half.com and thought to myself "well, hey, that chick who wrote twilight has written other things, i'm sure. it can't be as good as vampire lust but i'll check it out anyways." what i found was "the host."

read the description below for full embarrassment:

Our world has been invaded by an unseen enemy. Humans become hosts for these invaders, their minds taken over while their bodies remain intact and continue their lives apparently unchanged. Most of humanity has succumbed.

When Melanie, one of the few remaining "wild" humans is captured, she is certain it is her end. Wanderer, the invading "soul" who has been given Melanie's body, was warned about the challenges of living inside a human: the overwhelming emotions, the glut of senses, the too vivid memories. But there was one difficulty Wanderer didn't expect: the former tenant of her body refusing to relinquish possession of her mind.

Wanderer probes Melanie's thoughts, hoping to discover the whereabouts of the remaining human resistance. Instead, Melanie fills Wanderer's mind with visions of the man Melanie loves—Jared, a human who still lives in hiding. Unable to separate herself from her body's desires, Wanderer begins to yearn for a man she has been tasked with exposing. When outside forces make Wanderer and Melanie unwilling allies, they set off on a dangerous and uncertain search for the man they both love.

vampires i can get behind. aliens? she obviously has a fascination with monsters in love with humans but how long can she ride this thing out? (answer: as long as 13 year olds+me will pay for it) (other answer: yes i did buy 'the host') (last answer: JUST KIDDING).

like, totally!

often i'm afraid that i'm a 13 year old girl in a 22 year old body (the 13 year old in me wants to say 22 and 3/4).

why do i think this? over the last two years my hobbies/interests have become extremely immature.

1. i would rather watch harry potter on a rainy evening than dress up in a skimpy little outfit and hit ballroom (trust me, this is a recent development)
2. i just checked my 'most recently played' on itunes and the listing includes: bieber, akon and enrique iglesias.
3. my favorite t-shirts have pictures of wolves, sharks and include sayings like "kyle's killer lemonade"
4. i have an attention span of 3.234 seconds
5. i have 3 unfinished scarves floating in my room because i'm unable to finish any project
6. twilight. enough said.

hallow-ho

i love halloween.
any holiday that combines staying up late, eating lots of candy, scaring people at random and (typically) dancing like a freak is okay by me. **btw, i'd like to clarify that dancing like a freak is actually dancing like a freak--i'm too awkward to look good while dancin' **

that being said, few things stress me out more than choosing a costume. sadly, girls have two options: slutty or slutty. personally, i like to go with slutty.

but seriously, i take my costume selection very seriously and i dont want to mess around with choosing something ridiculous. for years now i have wanted to dress up like harry potter--no, not hermione, but the man himself. i long to wear john lennon glasses with a bad ass scar on my forehead but for some reason, dressing up like a little boy isn't acceptable. rather, i can choose between sexy ghost, sexy nurse or sexy nun. mmm.

as i started putting my costume options together (in july) i came up with a pretty legitimate list. sexy? maybe not. these may be more socially acceptable than HP though.

1. candy corn. adorable and coincidently my favorite candy.


2. sonics baller. i have yet to pay homage to my beloved basketball team (may they rest in peace).


3. ke$ha. trashy. dirty. i assumed i would carry my own alc around in my purse to save $$ anyways and i figure i can swing carrying jack and a tooth brush around as part of my get up.

the only problem with riding a crowded bus...

is that one day i know someone will call me out for listening to bieber at 7:38am.

i fear that day.