oh boy.

last year, i was a complete serial dater. after getting out of a long-term relationship, it made sense to me to date and date often. some were set ups, some were randoms, some were middle school style "i think hes cute but don't tell him say so, teehee!" nevertheless, i was an extreme dater. i've found that it's not difficult to date well if you follow several steps:

1. make it completely about the other person. ask many questions and act completely impressed or surprised with their every answer. a "wow! tell me more!" is always appropriate.
2. careful with the food selection. ordering food is hard because you don't want to seem a) high maintenance, b) sloppy. this usually means staying away from salads (big leaves falling out of your mouth is never attractive) and saving steaks for a rainy day.
3. pick out an outfit that you feel great in. i've found (after the 4th or 7th date) that wearing other's people's stuff never works out. tugging down shirt and pulling up pants isn't a good look on anyone.
4. bring wallet in case he makes you pay. and yes, this does happen. i'm completely 100% a feminist but i think that whoever does the asking should pay. maybe i'm living in the 30's but i was raised to think that guys should a) pay (for at least the first date) and b) pick you up at the front door and NOT call from outside and say he's "here"

guys, let me do you a favor and tell you what NOT to do. i will say these anonymously and with full affection/gratitude to the young men who inspired this posting.

big awkward 10:
1. don't ask her how many kids she wants [on the first date]
2. don't ask if you'll make enough money for her lifestyle in years to come
3. don't talk about your horrible ex-girlfriend
4. don't ask her how "far" she'd feel comfortable going [on the first date]
5. don't ask her how much she can drink without throwing up
6. don't ask her if you can borrow her gloves because it's "cold"
7. don't ask her why she and her other relationships didn't work [on the first date]
8. don't ask her when you can meet her parents
9. don't ask her what her top beer pong score is
10. don't tell her your theological views on women submitting to their husbands

i'm nervous to get any more frank than that for fear of offending one of the bachelors who made my year so interesting. words to the wise: dating is NOT marriage. i know outside of SPU that is completely foreign and absurd but i hear there's life outside of wedding magazines and daydreaming about ring-cuts. i am not trying to knock that for i know many happy people who are married, engaged, preengaged, WHATEVER....BUT what about those of us who aren't looking to get married in the next 5 minutes? i'd appreciate if the notion of marriage was absent from dating. oh, and maybe you could take away the awkward list of 10 from the equation as well...